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Patent Office #2

November 22nd, 2007 · by Pressman · No Comments

Welcome back to the Patent Office! Here are some ideas I’ve had for 15m radio dramas:

The night before
he can’t remember
wakes up but can’t see
now what

Two guys are racing on foot through a very crowded city. It’s the day of a festival – everyone’s out in costumes and singing songs, playing ball, having street BBQs. It is clear that the first man who reaches the river wins something tangible, that there is more at stake here than just pride.
The men begin the race far apart, so they never know where the other is in relation – whether he’s closing in on you, or taking a totally different route, or even whether he’s reached the finish line.
We follow one of the two men over the course of the race. The city is heavily secured, with travel between one zone and another a locked-down transaction of papers and assurances. Every few minutes, the man reaches another zone.

AND

He weaves through the city – running next to the animals that have been brought out to march the streets, the elephants and the zebras, and the high school bands, and the general pandemonium. He begins to realize that the man he’s racing is somewhere nearby, maybe he catches glimpses of him.

OR

The man gets lost

OR

He eats a hot dog

AND

he calls it a fucking day.

She’s been hired to babysit two teenagers too old to need a babysitter. They intimidate her, bully her, drive her into the attic. She cowers there, listening from the door as the two girls wreck havok in the house below.

A man tries to break an awkward habit of beginning all his conversations with outright lies. Each time he has to explain away or justify the lie before it gets out of control. After each encounter he engages himself in a righteous monologue about this habit.
–I can break this habit.
–Don’t lie to me, asshole!

A golfer is hitting nothing but holes-in-one and finds himself getting bored. He begins to take his time in between holes, drinking heavily. Soon he is a drunkard and is happy with his newfound freedom from perfection.

A day at the pool, culminating in a beautiful game of marco polo.

A man fancies himself a gourmand and goes to the market one day. He is single, and no longer young. While there he sees a young woman in line waiting for a duck. The man goes up and gets in line behind her, and begins to flirt. She hesitates, but he continues. He’s telling her his favorite duck recipe. As he does so, he begins to gather small ingredients off the racks around him, and starts a demonstration of the recipe.
Soon people gather to watch him prepare the recipe. The meal sounds mouth-watering. The woman, we can only assume, is as charmed as we are.

Tags: Patent Office · weee wooo weee wooo

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