Image: Garfieldminusgarfield

Recipe courtesy of Carl. We ate it during the thrilling conclusion of Project Runway. Everyone was very happy.

A WHOLOTTALASAGNA (VEGETARIAN)
Ingredients
1/4 cup olive oil
1 box lasagna noodles (can be more if your pan is larger or you want more starch?)
1 medium onion, diced
2 cloves garlic minced
2 cups sliced shitaki mushrooms, sliced into thin strips
1 large eggplant, diced into 1/4 in cubes
1 large carrot, shredded (optional and annoying to shred)
1/2 cup red cooking wine (a really old bottle as long as its not vinegary works fine, it doesn’t have to be good wine)
1/2 cup chopped flat leaf parsley
24 ounces canned whole tomatoes
1 1/2 cup canned tomato sauce
1 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon dried parsley
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 cup fresh basil (half diced / half whole leaf)
1 large 16 ounce container ricotta cheese
1 1/4 cups shredded parmesan cheese
4 cups shredded mozzarella cheese
1 egg

Prep:
Chop all your vegetables before cooking everything. Dice all that Parsley, Basil, carrots, mushrooms, eggplant, onion etc. Also get out 2 baking sheets (with wax paper or oiled if not non-stick) for the lasagna noodles to rest on after cooking (this is really important).

You will also need a 9 x 13 or 9 x 12 pan to cook this in. It’s a WHOLOTTALASAGNA.

Directions
1. Heat olive oil in a large skillet until shimmering.

1a. As olive oil is heating also put on a really large pot of water to boil lasagna noodles.

2. Add onion, garlic, eggplant, and mushrooms to skillet. You will cook all of this for 15 – 20 minutes, or until all ingredients are soft. Make sure the eggplant gets really well cooked, as its much tastier that way.

2a. When water in the large pot is boiling dump in all the lasagna noodles into the pot.

3. Add carrot, wine, parsley, tomato sauce, and whole tomatoes to skillet with eggplant and mushrooms. I cut up tomatoes in the can with a clean pair of scissors.

3a. Follow instructions on the box for cooking the lasagna noodles, (8 – 10 minutes). When the lasagna noodles are done, drain them and take tongs or a fork and lay them all out on the baking trays, or plates. If they stay in the colander they will stick together and you will be FUCKED. Seriously.

3b. Preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit.

4. Add oregano, parsley, salt, pepper and a the diced fresh basil to the sauce. You can also add ‘italian seasoning’ if you are lazy. Just make sure it tastes how you like your sauce to taste and probably it should be a little bit saltier since the ricotta is pretty sweet.

5. Simmer sauce uncovered until its thick and delicious. You still want there to be some moisture, but not too much. It should take about 45 minutes to an hour in total to finish the sauce.

6. Grease the bottom of a 9 x 13″ baking dish with non-stick cooking spray, or butter if you are feeling it.

7. Sort your cheeses into bowls. Combine all of the ricotta with the the egg and a 1/2 cup of parmesan cheese. Leave the rest of the cheeses in bowls so you can layer with them.

Building the Lasagna
8. Spread about 1/4 of the sauce in the bottom of the pan. This is your base.

9. Layer 1/4 of the lasagna noodles on top of the sauce base.

10. Grab a silicone spatula and scoop 1/3 of the ricotta / egg / parmesan mixture on top of the noodles. Spread it around awkwardly. Layer remaining basil leaves on top of the cheese mixture.

11. Sprinkle 1/3 of the parmesan and 1/3 of the mozzarella on top of the ricotta mixture.

12. Now throw down 1/3rd of your chunky sauce and go back to step 9 and repeat this 2 more times.

13. You should now have a 4 layers of lasagna with a layer of sauce on top. Add the remaining noodles on top and put more sauce on top. If you have run out of sauce, grab the canned stuff you have laying around in your fridge and throw it on top.

14. Sprinkle your remaining Mozzarella and Parmesan on top of the sauce layer and cover with foil. (Some people suggest you coat the foil with more cooking spray… whatever).

15. Put it in the oven.

16. Bake for 25 minutes and then remove the foil.

17. Bake for another 25 – 30 minutes.

18. Remove from the oven and let cool for 15 minutes. It’s molten hot inside.

19. Enjoy.

It might be more difficult to get a job and whatnot, but the world has not stopped turning. Why not use your more abundant free time (that phone won’t ring anyway, even if you step away from your desk) to invest in your social life or pursue your artistic goals? Now is the time to integrate art into everyday life.

Tip #6: Think about the recession as a party with another name.
Just because you have less disposable income doesn’t mean you can’t have as much fun. Some of the poorest people I know could teach us a thing or two about getting the biggest bang for your buck, enjoyment-wise. The key to staying entertained during times of less is creativity. I can’t stress this enough.

Here are some activities that don’t cost a lot, but can bring much joy:

- Throw a party. Why go to a bar and buy drinks when you can drink in the privacy of your own home or office for a fraction of the price and eliminate the undesirables that lurk in the outside world? Assign your party a theme or special feature, and the party becomes an event.
- Card games. Care to join us for a game of poker? The buy-in will remain $7 due to the recession. Don’t like poker? Try Uno (or my personal fave, pinochle).
- Take a walk. This activity has served me extremely well during the many, many impoverished years I spent in New York and elsewhere. A city is an amazing place—now’s the time to appreciate it more. Spring is coming—are you ready? Take a look around your neighborhood or another. What havoc has gentrification wreaked this week? Visit a faraway neighborhood or even another borough. Mega-dérive!
- Flea markets / thrift stores. I hate it when other people have the same stuff as me. Flea markets can help you out of this rut. They are also good for looking at random things such as other people’s snapshots, socializing, unique artwork, affordable furniture. I got a dresser this weekend for $25.
- Ride a bike. Hours of entertainment, reduced reliance on taxis, big savings. Cancel that gym membership and commute to work on your bike. Also, if you get really bored or really broke, learn how to fix your own bike. There are a lot of places in NYC that will teach you basic bicycle maintenance skills for free (among them, Dumbo’s own Recycle-A-Bicycle, where I learned how to fix a flat tire and the meaning of the word “truing” three years ago). Self-reliance is of the essence during times of squalor!
- Make something. Start crafting. This week I made a quilt square and a lot of pom-poms. You can craft with your friends and it’s like having a party, but more productive. You can make projects together. If you want, you can even sell the things you make for extra cash.
- Art openings. Their usefulness is trifold: inspiration, networking (more money!), and free food and drink.
- The Met. It’s still pay as you wish. Have you seen the new Greek and Roman galleries yet?
- Ever heard of the library? It’s full of books, movies, classes, free bathrooms, weird people. Go there one afternoon and don’t buy anything. Cancel that netflix account and order your movies (or books) from the library. You can order them online and have them shipped to your local branch. Keep them as long as you want — just be sure to renew!
- Develop a new creative pursuit. Learn how to draw, take photos, make some LOLhunkz, start a band, grow your own herb garden, refinish furniture. Ease your anxious mind by focusing your attention on all those activities you never had time for before.

Share your tips!

Tip #3: Don’t have kids.

Kids cost money. According to common knowledge, they cost upwards of $17,000 a year. Do you have a spare nearly 20 grand lying around? Perhaps you’d like to spend it on Legos and child-size skateboards that linger, unused, in the garage. In place of the car you had to sell. Or perhaps you’d like to just sign your paycheck over to Spongebob Squarepants? (He also takes Visa.)

Also, kids bring guilt. You’ve got to feed them something other than rice and beans and cheap scotch. This is a fine (even recommended) diet for a bachelor or barren couple, but kids require pre-packaged Kid Food that comes in neon colors and funny shapes, so don’t do it.

In order to prepare for — or perhaps offset — forthcoming financial disaster, 801a is bringing you tips to safeguard your business and savings account against the seemingly inevitable recession.

Tip #1: Cook your own meals.
Cooking your own lunch or dinner can save you up to $50 a week for one meal alone. Cooking your own lunch and dinner could save you $100 a week or more! Today’s Lunch Order will now be supplanted by the recipe of the day.
Check out this recipe for Sauteed Kale. I bet it’s almost as good as the $6 version at Egg in Williamsburg, but substantially more affordable.

Young Lucas at Iggy’s, circa 2003

I had my very first, life-changing karaoke experience at Iggy’s on 75th & 2nd one snowy night in 2003. Iggy’s is a cut above many other NYC karaoke establishments—features include free karaoke 7 nights a week, a comprehensive shot menu, the option to sing at a stage or while sitting at the bar, and an excellent catalog. The bar also once featured a velvet painting of Bruce Springsteen (above, right). Unfortunately, due to a recent renovation, it is no longer with us. The crowd is also surprisingly dive-y/trashy and pleasant. All in all, possibly worth the trip uptown.